Who is wrong, what is right(?)
by Rivki
Summary: Eric Sacks is unable to forgive one of his test-subjects after a long-term relationship.
1. Unforgiven

_**This story is rewritten from a different version and contains violence and sex, if you are underaged/ don't like these kind of stories you've hereby been warned.**_

**Prologue:**

I was born a collectible, my memories more beautiful than any kind of day. Born in a lab, all those years ago. I was his most valuable possession and he made me feel that way. Until I grew old enough to realize it was all just an illusion...

The man I knew back then is no more. Swallowed up in his greed for money he slowly cared less and less about me, until he didn't visit my room anymore. I could howl for hours longing for attention that never came. It was at that time I became rebellious. I had hoped no-one would ever know about my nightly escapes but when one of his guards did find out about me, he had him executed and me locked away for several weeks. Since then there hasn't been a day when he didn't feel the need to remind me of my mistake.

The man who I had loved so immensely was hurting me physically.

It seemed my wish for attention had backfired against me.

**.**

_Why do I keep provoking him like that_, I wonder as I crawled on the bed**. **A familiar feeling is starting to overpower me, the feeling I always seem to get when I know I just can't stand up for myself. The nights here are endless without him, I'm not even sure why I long for him that much. A cold breeze coming from the window strolls trough the room, caressing against my uncovered skin. Thinking about surrendering myself to him like I used to makes me feel comfortable. After all he raised me, taught me how to please him. I'm determined he will always be the only man in my life, that's why I'm scared I won't be enough for him anymore. It may sound egocentric but picturing my master with another "womanbeing" would devastate me.

After rolling over a few times I get up from my resting spot and move towards the open door that leads to the bathroom. I still can't face that silver-eyed animal standing there in that mirror, but there's no hiding from it. It seems my eyes are just forced to look into that oversized, circular thing. Just like the rest of my body when it comes to having a master. Taking control of you. Making you feel unworthy. Maybe that's why I have to see myself like this, so I can be reminded of the horrible creature that I've become.

_If you doubt yourself Rivki, you should make yourself proud, Sacks will be here tomorrowmorning and he'll expect you to behave the way he trained you. __Just make sure he'll see you at your best, maybe one day he can love you again, right? _I was never good at convincing myself to put effort into anything without a certain result. But I couldn't deny I had a good feeling about this. _Now get some sleep Rivki, we'll get up early and fix you, I promise._

As expected I woke up the next day only to find myself covered in negativity again. There was no way I would continue my previous plan. I smelled like a filthy dog, and probably looked like one too. As soon as Sacks entered the room it was also the first thing he noticed. I was lying uncovered on the bed, face down.

**Well now, seems like you haven't been taking much care of yourself... **He said with a tone of frustration in his voice. He noticed me being absent minded so he continued:** Is this the way you want things to be or should I consider this an insult? **I was hoping he'd actually reply to that question himself, because I wasn't going to answer it. At this point I couldn't care less for my wellbeing, a few beatings would not make a large difference. So I remained silent, maybe I was just testing him although I knew what he was capable of. Curtains sliding over the rod, illuminating the room. He went to sit next to me on the bed, and I felt that fear again, I got quite addicted to it in the past few months. **Let me tell you this.** he continued,**There's ****no place that you can go, nor escape nor try to avoid me. I am in control of everything that happens to you.** **That said** **I'm not going to ask you again, is this the way you want it to be? **I wish I could have just answered him, and at this point I still don't fully understand why I could not bring out a single word. He let out a sigh, running his hand trough his hair and left me lying there. I crawled together in a small furball.

The sound of splashing water coming from the water tap made me shiver. Not so long ago I used to enjoy taking a bath, but things quickly changed after he found out about my secret. **Get over here. **Eric commanded. I heard him unzip his pants and by the time I pulled myself together he stood there naked it front of me. I felt like a shy little girl, however I hated the thought of being one. The water felt nice and warm, like a soft blanket covering me. He was sitting opposite from me and my skinny deformed legs were crossing his.

_He had been merciful with me, why don't you just return the favour Riv? __I'm afraid, what should I even do?_

We've been holding a staring contest for over 4min now when I came to realize how terribly attractive this man is. I felt an urge to get in full contact with him, but I didn't dare to move a muscle, not knowing what he was actually expecting from me. He finally broke the silence: **Wash yourself.** a quite simple command but his voice made the energy flowing trough my body almost uncontainable. I grabbed a piece of soap and rubbed in between my hands to make it foamy. The soap made contact with the side of my face and I started working my way down until I arrived at my private spot. I looked at him in embarrassment, but I knew there was no escaping from it. He assisted my hand in making back-and-forth-movements, but finally left the job over to me. After continuing this for at least 2 minutes I placed the soap on the edge and placed my hand down my pussy, shoving in 2 fingers to clean the inside. I saw his cock was getting really stiff by now. I felt proud of myself for doing a good job on pleasing my master. He pulled me down over his lap. The bathtub was too small to place my legs sideways from him, so they were folded as I was sitting in this position. **Good,** **Now I want you to wash me**. I felt my nerves welling up again, I reached out for the soap but he said I should use my mouth instead. I backed away a little and took a hold on his manhood, rubbing his foreskin back and forth over the head of his cock. _I want it, my body is ready for it_ _master. _I placed my lips around the head and I ran my tongue up the length of his shaft and went as far as I could.

_I love you master I do, plz… plz take me._

**Seems like you're really enjoying this... "**Master"… I replied: "I'm sorry about earlier, please forgive me I will do my best to be better for you." the words rolled over my lips without hesitation "I'm yours and I will do my best to make you happy, was just scared, I didn…." He interrupted me by placing his finger over his mouth and then took the showerhead. After us both getting out of the tub he pulled me over the edge, forcing me on my knees. **I suppose this is what you've been waiting for isn't it? **He asked with a tone of amusement in his voice.** You want me to do this to you?** "Yes, I want it master! I want it so bad!" I screamed in overexcitement. Eric was surely surprised, yet amused by that response. **Well…** **Isn't that just wonderful, looks like further training will be easy for the both of us. **He got on his knees and I felt his hard dick pressing against my pussy. I let out a moan when he pushed it fully in.

_it hurts, it still hurts and I'm soaking wet down there. I must be too damn nervous. __But I like it, I like it when uses me like that, I need this…_

After a few more minutes my muscles were fully relaxed again and the pain turned in to pure pleasure. His hand took grip around my neck as he started to push it in faster and harder. _it's so intense. _After some time I noticed his that breath went quicker, as he pinched his hand tighter around my neck. _Yes master plz fill me up, I want your cum inside of me, all of it! _**Ah! Fuck! **He groaned.I and felt a warm trickle of sperm flowing down from my legs. My body was shivering of the treatment it had just received. "thank you master" I obsequiously said to him . "thank you so much…" He pulled out of me and gave me a gentle pet on my head. Then he cleaned his cock with a tissue and left the bathroom, leaving the door gaping open. My body was still in the same position and my head was hanging down the tub. _You did good Rivki, I'm proud of you.. _I looked up only to see myself in the mirror again, but this time I didn't care about the whore reflecting at me. I was wanted, wasn't I? that was all the confirmation I needed for myself.

I was his.

I was his and his alone.


	2. Your house, my rules

**I hope you have enjoyed the first chapter so far, i'm planning to post many more. This is a rather short chapter but I promise to post longer ones in the future.**

4 PM

Drawing is my favourite day-to-day activity, and I used to take pride by presenting my works to him, but it has been a long time since he last saw one of my creations. My sketchbook had become more personal, filled with dark pages that reveal the events that have been going on in this mansion, not only my personal experiences but stories he used to tell me.

I find myself sitting on the windowsill sketching the outdoor scenery, for as long as I can remember the landscape has barely changed. Bright sunrays color the distant forests in fresh shades of green, reminding me that summer has arrived. I can look down upon the parkinglot with these dark tinted windows sealing me off from the rest of the world. I noticed Sacks has visitors, but to me all men who come over are considered intruders. I used to study them. Most of them never come back but there are people who have been in his life for longer then I've been. I often compare myself to the female ones, I suppose out of jealousy. From a human's perspective I don't exactly find myself attractive, and I'm small compared to other test-subjects, even to humans.

A familiar figure moves towards me, bringing me one of my daily injections. He is the only man apart from Sacks who gets to see me and I never get to eat actual food since these fluids are all that's keeping me alive. His grip is strong when he pulls my arm towards him, he knows I'll never get used to this progress, hypersensitivity is one of the many limitations my weak body has to deal with.

2 AM

Branches pounding on the window startle me awake at night. Their "musical" performance lured me towards the window. Seems like a long time since that cherrytree was pruned.. the window doesn't fully open but it's enough for me to slip my hand trough and reach out to grab one of the freshly grown cherry's. Their perfect red shape resting in the palm of my hand, tempting me: _Would I dare to taste one… Just one… _I let my tongue explore the soft outside before taking a bite when my teeth made an unpleasant contact with the small pit. Since I couldn't chew trough its hard exterior I swallowed the core whole. _This is actually so full of flavour, I never imagined it would taste like this., I know my master wouldn't want me to try this but I'm sure glad I did… _

3 AM

You can guess I woke up again with a huge stomach pain, I rushed over to the sink when I started puking out blood. I felt my body contracting because of the pain I had inflicted on myself. "Help!" I yelped out. I started producing all kinds of sounds as the feeling became overwhelming until I collapsed in front of the chamberdoor. The cold hard floor piercing through me. _I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please someone help me_. _I Can't take this anymore. I'm sorry master, I'm so very sorry…_

"HELP ME!"

For a second I feared no-one would answer my calling but fortunately the sound of footsteps resounded down the hallway. There stood the nameless person who injected me before. **What have you done to yourself? **He asked looking almost as stressed out as I was. "I'm sorry I've eaten some of… huh.. I've eaten those cherry's, I'm sorry.. ha…. haw…." I heard Eric's voice shouting trough the phone when he called him. After the call he turned back to me. **You have any idea what he's going to do to you? **

I was lifted up from the floor and carried down the basement where I spent the first year of my life, carefully placed on a table for examination. Sacks rushed downstairs asking me all kinds of questions. Apparently my stomach had never fully developed which caused my body to react this way. I turned my head away from him in shame, which caused more tears to well up in my eyes. **Allright, I'm not going to put you to sleep since you've eaten recently, so you're just have to stay with me during this whole operation. After that you and I are going to spent some quality time together.** I didn't know what scared me more, the punishment I was about to receive or going through this procedure, anyway I would not show him how weak-minded I was but the heartmonitor betrayed me.

6 AM

The compression bound to my stomach makes it hard for me to sleep comfortably. Sacks has escorted me back to my room. He didn't speak to me after, but his actions left me wondering if this man actually could feel sorry for me. After he changed I saw him as a rather apathetic individual. Maybe even evil. I had no connection with him at all, like our inner energies are from a whole other level. But tonight all of that felt different, although I knew my feelings were about to change once he would have dealt with my behaviour.

_I kept him awake all night, what was I even thinking… I'm so tired..._

_It's ok, Riv. It's almost over. Try to get some sleep…_


	3. Shocking Experience

Sacks voice startled me awake. **How do you feel?** "I don't know what to answer master, I feel a lot." My eyes felt heavy and without further considering I asked him if I could sleep for a little longer. In response to my question he pinched his hand around the back of my neck and forced my head closer to his, staring intensely in my eyes. His voice was calm, but still clearly upset: **If you somehow think I will just pretend nothing happened last night, think again. But let me make this clear to you: I assure you that in the next couple of days, I will cause you nothing but pain and agony. **He pushed my head down and walked right out, leaving me covered in guilt.

_Please don't leave me like this, I'm sorry. _

I can still feel a pressure on my stomach, but the scar already started to heal properly, I'm sure it won't take long before no-one would ever be able to notice it was there. I couldn't help but to snuggle up in the sheets again.

In the late-afternoon I decided to check back on my stomach, noticing that the wound had fully disappeared. I'd rather just pretend nothing had happened last night. But the anxiety of what was to come grew stronger with every minute. Whenever Sacks wanted to punish me he just went ahead, he would never leave me waiting.

Finally the unfortunate hour had arrived where Sacks led me downstairs where the events of yesterday took place. **Now, before we start… This is the second time you disobeyed me: anymore of your bad habits you want to tell me about? **"no master". I replied with the most submissive voice imaginable. Sacks continued: **We discovered your body is unique, with the capacity of healing itself quickly and efficient. Seems like you gave me a reason to find out how much your body can handle before we pass the point of recovery and when that happens you will be left with disfigurements that will remind you every day of your stupidity. **I already lost it hearing the first half of what he was about to do to me. "Please master! Don't hurt me like that! Please I know I deserve it and I don't mean I don't want you to hurt me because I deserve it, but… but…" I collapsed in tears before him, my body trembling. I gently stroked my hand in an attempt to comfort myself. **I didn't expect you to give in so quickly.** Sacks remarked. He grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and dragged me to the table. "NO!" …"let me go! LET ME GO!" I wailed, trying to free myself out of his grip. Pure hysteria made me succeed but guilt wouldn't let me make it back to the stairs, ending me up in the corner.

_Go away… go away… go away… please just go away…._

I was sobbing away looking at him with eyes like moons. **This will make you more manageable. **Eric said while a taser made contact with my shoulder. The painful sensation made every fibre of my body contract at the same time. He then kneeled before me lifting my chin up. **Tell me, are you more manageable yet, or should I do it again? Now get over there. **It took me a few moments to pull myself together.

I was strapped up on the table by my hands, neck and feet. Eric let his hand rest on my leg after letting it slide over the side of my body. Carefully examinating me. He then adapted the taser to a powersupply. Resting the torturedevice on my belly to inform me of what was to come. "Don't do this!" I panicked when he placed the taser against my genital-area.

Electricity racing trough me. It felt as if my body got lifted up by a higher force, the feeling moved quickly from my lower part to my entire body, causing my heart to beat faster and faster. Until Eric grants me a chance to recover. I couldn't help put producing a monotone sound, since I was clearly in pain, but found myself almost completely paralysed for a while.

My breath went quicker as I regained strength only to receive a second hit. And then it happened: my pelvic muscles unable to restrain to the contraction anymore and as soon as the electricity left my body a gentle stream of urine ran down the table. I was panting heavily looking up at the ceiling not daring to look him in the eye out of shame. "Hah…haw… I'm.. sorry… hah." I managed to bring out. **Alexander is going to bring you upstairs and I want you to take a bath right away. We'll continue later this evening.**

_So that's his name, I haven't even properly thanked him for his help. If it wasn't for him I would have died. Imagine that… _

Alex helped me into the tub, but even though the water was the same temperature as usual it hurt my sensitive flesh. I thanked the blackhaired man but I didn't expect him to respond. Just having him know that I was thankful for all that he's done for me was enough. I took a deep breath and let myself slide deeper into the tub, head under water. It has never felt so good before.

_I'm sorry Rivki but this is your own fault, you have no right to complain right now. You'll just have to go trough it until the master is pleased. I'm just afraid of what the next step may be, he spoke about mutilating me. _

**…**

"Master", I spoke to Eric when he entered my room. "I just wanted to apologize to you"** You already did that. **"I know but I wanted to say sorry for what happened downstairs, I don't want you to see me like that." He didn't respond but instead presented me 3 objects. One of them I could clearly identify as a whip, the other 2 I could only guess. **These are the items I'm going to punish you with in the next couple of days. I want you to choose one for tonight.** "What does that one do?" I asked him pointing at a spiky, sharp looking metal cylinder. Even though I already knew the answer to that. "are you going to push that into me?" I saw the twinkles in his eyes when he tried turning me around on the bed. "No wait, I want the whip! I want the whip!" Eric burst out in laughter, making me feel uncomfortable.

He then commanded me to lay face down. He let the whip stroking the area between my thighs, moving up to my buns and lower back until he stopped at my shoulders where he landed the first blow. _Oh fuck, it hurts. Why can't it be over already. Please stop! _He took his time with every part he had stroked out. My thighs itself where the most sensitive. I smothered my face into the pillow to hide my sobs, until I felt trickles of blood flowing down my skin.

After hitting me over 10 times Eric paused to reflect at his work.** Look at that, your wounds are already healing. Remarkable. **"please master I've had enough, please stop" I whined, knowing begging has little effect on him. **That's still up to me to decide.** he snarled at me, spreading my legs open to force the handle inside of me. Compared to my flesh being whipped bloody, this started to feel rather relaxing. **You want me to stop? **Eric smiled at me. "No master" I replied, thinking that would be the correct answer to give in this situation but I couldn't deny I actually did not want him to stop. The stinging pain in my back started to disappear as my body took care of my wounds. But it was still guilt that controlled my emotions. **You did good today, although it could have been better. **he said while he pulled the whip out of me and covered me with the blankets. He then attached the infuse to my wrist** Try to get some sleep.**

"Goodnight master" I said with tears still rolling from my eyes.


	4. the Redemption

**So I hope you liked the story so far, in this chapter Rivki starts to experience an emotional breakdown and finds herself unable to regain control of het situation. If you have any suggestions for the story feel free to post a review. **

Too many hours have passed questioning when he will be satisfied. I've spent the early morning making a fort out of the blankets, just to create a private space in this inferno of emotions that encompassed my life. I used to have endless conversations with myself but at that point I found myself unable to think about anything else but yesterday's events. There seems no way to fight these feelings, my scars may heal but in my mind they remain with every new memory. I stroked my fingers against the parts of depilated flesh studying the fading marks on my back before I was brought downstairs. Now I lie here terrified, suffering from the most excruciating pain ever inflicted on me. Crying out whenever a drop of corrosive acid made contact with the back of my body. Eric was clearly enjoying himself.

Another drop landing on my lower sat my entire back on fire. Words escaping from my mouth: "Fuck you" Anger started to well up inside of me, creating an anaesthetic for the pain. Another attempt at freeing myself from this position failing, slowly pulling me away in a wave of madness. Eric poured the remaining amount over me. **What was that?** **Answer me or I will start injecting you with it. "**Fuck you!"I yelled at him "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" the words erupted from my mouth without me realizing where they came from. I bumped my head at the table as he untied me. He clearly wasn't pleased with my behaviour, but by the time I began to think straight it was already to late. He grabbed me by my neck and forced me over the sink. **I'm gonna clean your filthy mouth and you're gonna go upstairs and think about a proper apology before I molest your inside completely, understood? **"Yes" I managed to bring out. **And if** **you ever say something like that to me again I'll make what happened before feel like a warm-up.**

He had pressed my body between his and the sink, making my hips starting to hurt because of it. He took out a bottle of disinfectant, removing the sealer and pushing it against my lips, I reluctantly opened my mouth as he forced it inside, squeezing it all over my tongue. It did my best to hold back from gagging. **Spit it out.** Eric commanded me as he regained his self-control.

_This is disgusting, I'm about to lose it, please calm down. Please. _

**…**

I was thrown onto the floor, the door slammed behind me. I raged into the bathroom, where that unworthy creature was staring back at me in the mirror. The taste of disinfectant still present in my mouth. Glass shattering on the ground in an attempt to let my fury put an end to this madness. I fell on my knees before the broken mirror hitting my hands on the edges of the sharp pieces.

_Why? I can't take this anymore, this has to stop! Why, … why am I doing this? _

Sacks rushed himself into the bathroom, but I wouldn't want him anywhere near me, throwing pieces of broken glass in his direction. "Get away from me!" I shouted clawing around me. Eyes wide open. Even though I felt weak and helpless, I wouldn't surrender myself like that. When he pulled me down I lost it. **Easy … Easy.** He spoke to me.** "**No I won't take it easy! It's enough!" I yelled at him, nesting my nails in his arm hoping he would just let go of me, but instead I received a firm hand on my cheek. I became to realize there is no turning back anymore, I just couldn't control my emotions any longer. Fear took over, I would not have him hurt me even more, I clawed at him until he finally let go of me.

I ran, I just ran. As fast as my feet could carry me. My hands touched the ground, running free like the animal I was born to be. Racing trough the hallways, downstairs until I made it passed the front door.

Not a force on earth could prevent me from making my way out into the open. My doors have opened, welcoming me to a whole new world! The fencing did little to slow me down. I'm unstoppable! Sprinting trough the grass, the trees providing me a safe escape.

**…**

By the time the house of horrors was no longer in sight. I stopped at an open field. exhausted. I burst into tears. The last rays of sun shining upon me.

_It's ok, calm down. You're safe now. No-one's going to hurt you anymore. We'll think of a plan. _

I was here. I was out here. Alone. It all happened so fast, so sudden. When I was younger I used to fantasise about what life would be like outside the fence. Even though I couldn't really enjoy it at the moment I actually felt proud of myself for coming all this way, since my conquered territory didn't even reach a quarter of the distance i've overcome. The feelings of anger faded as I was getting cold. The moon has already started to show herself. Her bright existence reflecting in the puddles of water surrounding me.

_Should I go back? I have nowhere else to go, and staying here will kill me._

_Rivki, You already survived 14 years living with Sacks, I'm sure you can make it trough the night._

It didn't take long before the nightcreatures emerged around me. Comforting me with their sounds. Although I was not alone I felt empty. Thoughts of him gently rubbing my back started to well up as I tried to forget the pain he had put me trough.

_What am I doing here?_

…


	5. All Will Perish

**In this chapter Rivki takes a trip trough her mind, and let's you see more of her past, I know the chapter skips a lot between moments but I hope you enjoy.**

The love I felt so long ago, I still remember. I cling to the memories, and they provide my mind with peace and comfort. I was never consciously present in my original form, before I became an experiment that is.

My first memories are those of how his voice echoed through the liquids that surrounded me, waking me up staring at his silhouette. I soon learned to memorize them. And then finally, after long periods of forced sleep, which sped up my mutation process, I was folded strong and ready to begin my life.

**…**

I remember seeing the variation of colors, the sharp edges of the objects surrounding me. After my eyes had fully scanned the environment I stopped to gaze at him, my creator as he had placed me opposite from him, his eyes wandering over my furcovered body. It felt like my body was years behind on my mental-development. How I wished the words I wanted to say for so long were about to be freed from my mouth.

By the time they did I was already used to my life downstairs, unaware of the world lurking behind the corner. To Sacks I was more then a test subject. To me I was a child, unable to take care of itself. Although I did question his methods from time to time, I became very attached to this man as he learned me to live with my limitations. I gained his trust enabling me to move myself outside of my caging, but the basement remained my home.

The travel trough my memories brought me forward to the first time he took me to bed, a day I still recall. It was the same ritual for me to ask him out when he made his way downstairs in the morning.

"I love you master" I still don't know where that suddenly came from, but I said it in between our morning conversation. A moment of silence followed. Eric seemed as surprised as I was. **Do** **you even know what that means? **"I think so, I saw all the videomaterial you wanted me to watch and I could identify myself with most of them." **Is that so? **He smiled**. **It seemed he enjoyed my response. I moved closer, stretching my arm in front of him, trying not to show how much I hated the feeling of the needle.

**Come with me. **I placed my hand in his as he led me upstairs. The only moment when I got to catch a glimp of what the rest of the mansion actually looked like was when I got to take a bath. But I knew upfront I found myself in a completely different situation. "Will you tell me what you are planning to do master?" I asked when I followed him into an unfamiliar room. **I think you can make a pretty good guess. We both knew this moment would come, now didn't we? **My wide, innocent eyes staring into his bright blue ones. Mine were clouded with desire**. **Would I have wanted him to take my virginity from me? Oh yes, ufcours I wanted it, but I never expected it to be this day. Fragments of movies were flashing trough my mind as I tried to give myself a crash course of what I thought was expected from me. **Lay down.** he playfully commanded making a gesture with his hand. The fresh sheets had a lavender scent. His deep, sensual voice made me shudder. **Now, can I take a look?** I blushed. The question made me drew into a chocked breath as I exposed myself to him in full submission. The feeling of him touching me there is my most valuable memory and I treasure it uptill today. My fears faded and I managed to give in to his gentle massaging of my lower part. It simply felt right. After he noticed me reaching for a new level of excitement, he undressed and placed himself on top of me. My eyes widened when I saw his manhood. "Is that going to fit?" I panicked. Eric responded with laughter. He stroked his hand over the side of my face. **Of course it will fit, you don't have to worry. **He started pushing in gently, although it didn't hurt as much as I expected I still felt very uncomfortable. "Master, you're hurting me!" I didn't dare to speak my mind first because I was clearly the one who caused this, but I couldn't adjust to this new feeling of pain. He remained motionless inside of me for a moment. **I know, my dear. But it won't be for long. I promise you that you will learn to enjoy this. **He wouldn't move until I trusted him to continue. It was gentle, slow love-making, nothing compared to the future-him. But I couldn't exactly say I liked it very much at the time.

I slowly drifted back to the present. My fear had been running on high and now I find myself out into the open.

Now I want you, when you're gone.

_I should go back, I have nowhere else to go. But I don't want to get hurt anymore. Please… Rivki, what should I do? __I can't go back, not after what happened. If this means it's the end for me so be it._

But I miss the man I used to know and realizing all of that is gone now, they fill up most of the pages I've been drawing in_._

Dawn is breaking. The fear of darkness left me unable to sleep last night, and I found myself incapable to create a shelter that felt somewhat safe. My hands couldn't stop shaking, I'm so ashamed of what I've done. It didn't take long before fresh tears were escaping from my irritated eyes. I clenched myself around a small tree hoping it could somehow bring me a feeling of protection. A cold shivering raced over my spine causing me to embrace myself around it even more. Loving thoughts about him seemed to sustain_. If there is hope for me it has to be with you, master._ Even if my assumptions of what humanity is for me are made up, I won't let it fade away like the creatures in the night.

**Rivki! **

My ears perked up by the sound of Alexander's voice shouting from behind me. For a moment I panicked, but even though I knew they could track me with ease I was so relieved he found me. I ran straight up to him clamping around his waist, tears streaming down from my cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry… I'm sorry, sorry, I'm sorry…"

I looked up to him. "I don't know if I can make it home."

**…**

It felt like I just signed my deathwish when I stepped trough the frontdoor. My head was bowed, too guilty and uncertain to be happy with my return. I figured out Sacks had really wanted to hurt me, and I had found myself beyond the point of reasoning with him. **I got her. **Alex spoke when he handed me over to my master. I tried to make myself as small as possible having him know that I was aware of how unworthy I was to be in his presence. I avoided making any eyecontact, keeping my head straight down as if he would have ordered me to.

Eric placed a hand on my shoulder and made me sit in the chair by the fireplace, he then kneeled before me placing his hand on my knee, the scratchmarks I delivered him were clearly visible. Before he got a chance to speak a waterfall of words escaped from my mouth: "please forgive me, It will never happen again, I swear. I understand if you can never love me again, just don't hurt me anymore please, please I'm sorry to ask you this, I'm sor…" **Hush now, I went too far. It has never been my intention to inflict this upon you. **I noticed a tone of compassion in his voice.** You were terrified and you ran, it's a normal reaction given the circumstances. I don't want to hear another word about it, and in return I promise you that I will leave you be. **"But I don't want you to leave me, I need you master…" "I only want to be next to you, I want you to teach me, care for me and…" Sacks interrupted me again. **For now the best thing to do will be to let this rest for a while. You must be exhausted, why don't you get some sleep? Come on, I'll bring you upstairs. **I leaned forward, letting him catch me into his arms.

I would have given everything to sleep with him in the same bed, even just for one night.


End file.
